The Takes: NFL Busts a Nut Over Trade Deadline
Holy shit
This deadline was pretty incredible. You know Goodell is just rock hard from the fact everyone is talking about NFL on a Tuesday
With a record 10 trades on the final day of allowing trades, let’s take a peek at the big ones from today’s deadline
Vikings Acquire TE T.J. Hockenson
Minnesota traded away a 2023 second-round pick and a 2024 third-round pick for Hockenson and two fourth-round picks (2023, 2024)
Honestly, not bad for Minnesota. You get a top 10 player in his position, someone who Detroit spent the EIGHTH pick in the 2019 draft. All they have to do is move down in the draft, they don’t even lose their picks
Detroit realized they fucked up and bit the bullet, he was not the right pick in 2019, and since he is going to be expecting a new contract this off-season, it’s best to get rid of him now and try to get SOMETHING for him
Bears Acquire WR Chase Claypool
Oh, this is it. The Steelers get the Bears’ second-round pick in 2024, but they had an extra one anyway from the Roquon trade. Chicago fans are Quagmire when he first discovered internet porn.
The Bears go from having a Linebacker in Roquon Smith that quit on his team 2 months ago, to Chase Claypool AND a 5th-round pick. Ryan Poles is entering elite status with the way he is handling personnel.
It’s not like the Steelers will miss him anyway, they used a second-round pick on him two years ago, and he was a steal. Pitt drafts great WRs year in and year out, so nothing much to worry about.
Dolphins Acquire OLB Bradley Chubb
Now, HERE is where the true “what the fuck” trades happen. In this case, both of these teams did fantastic in this trade.
Obviously, acquiring a top-edge rush talent is huge for the dolphins, and go a little sugar on top with a 2025 fifth-round pick. Sure, they traded their running back Chase Edmonds, but Miami went out and got Jeff Wilson Jr. from San Fran just minutes later anyway
Broncos being able to get a first-round pick is massive. Whenever a trade happens for a player, and a first-rounder is involved, that is always a success for the team getting the pick if they stink
And the Broncos stink
Also, with the addition of Running back Chase Edmonds, and a 2024 fourth-round pick, you can’t be too mad if you're a Denver fan
This is where the “what the fuck” trade happens. Miami has been playing with house money. They had so many picks that weren’t originally theirs due to a trade made with San Francisco. Dolphins moved back from 3, to 12, and got a shit ton of picks back
What did San Francisco get with that 3rd overall pick? Oh, none other than Missouri Valley Conference STAR Trey Lance!!
Who wouldn’t want to trade up to get this guy? He faced ELITE competition in Illinois State University, University of Northern Iowa, and who can forget about the Indiana State Sycamores!!
What a joke of a trade… So what did Miami do with their haul of picks? I’ll show you…
But before you scroll down, please know this picture is NOT safe for work. Put your phone down or maybe go to a bathroom stall if you have to see it.
Children, close your eyes…
Waddle… Hill…. Chubb…
Can you imagine if ANY of those guys are on the Niners this year, let alone ALL THREE??
San Fran would HAVE to be Super Bowl favorites, or damn near. But hey, enjoy a fancy Carson Wentz Niner fans!
Jacksonville Acquire WR Calvin Ridley
All the Jags had to give up is “draft capital that can be worth as much as a fifth-round pick in 2023 and a second-round pick in 2024”
I have no idea why it is worded that way “Can be worth as much as” but, even at the most value, this is a great trade
Ridley was an end-of-first-round pick four years ago, and is still decent, he is just suspended.
A lot has to be said about how STUPID Ridley has to be to sign up for a gambling account using his REAL name, REAL address, REAL social security number and be shook he gets caught.
Stupid people can still catch a ball and run a route.
Buffalo Acquire RB Nyheim Hines
I honestly don’t think much about this trade. I have a buddy that is a Bills fan and seemed excited, but if you ask me they already have 2 running backs just as good as Hines in Singletary and Cook.
But whenever the SuperBowl favorite trades for a piece it is always exciting news
Lastly, with every trade deadline, there are losers. This year, there are many competitors for the biggest loser.
This year, it has to be the Houston Texans, with their debatably second-most talented offensive player (behind Dameon Pierce) tweeting this, moments after the deadline
Uhhhmmm, what?
What the fuck did buddy just say?
Dude tweets some Columbine shit only 3 minutes after the deadline? At least yahoo was proactive, saw this, and listed him as questionable
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