The Takes: 20 Years of Dallas Cowboys Hype and Failure
This blog was not my idea, but it is perfect for me. This was inspired by something I heard Big Cat say about 3 hours ago 7 hours ago on Pardon My Take.
Here is the clip:
This describes me perfectly. I am a boneheaded believer in the Dallas Cowboys year in and year out. Plus, the whole reason I started writing was because of a tweet from Big Cat (First blog). So if Big Cat, or really anyone from Barstool, acknowledged this Blog post that would be pretty sweet.
Even though I am born and raised in the suburbs of Chicago, where I still live to this day, I have never stopped supporting and fighting for the Boys.
I can’t tell if re-living all of this pain was good for my mental health, or terrible. Either way, it definitely revealed a pattern in my caveman brain of when we Cowboys fans start thinking this could be the 90s again.
Like Big Cat said, there are a few years where the Cowboys just freaking STINK or are riddled with injuries, so I will rank those the best I can to start.
Without further ado, after researching 2002-2021, here is which week did the Cowboys reach peak Cowboys every year since 2002.
2002
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 6
2002 had little expectations going into it. Dallas was 5-11 the year before and didn’t have much of a Quarterback room with names like Quincy Carter and Chad Hutchinson being the big names in Big D
However, in Week 6, the Cowboys were sitting at 3-3. Half game back from first place in the division!
You’re playing the game of “Who knows, maybe we string something together” and then drop 4 straight.
End the year 5-11
2003
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 10
2003 brought us a must needed coaching change. In comes Bill Parcels.
This team’s defense was LEGIT. Probably the best defense on this list, and only trumped by this years 2022 defense as the best of the 21st century Cowboys.
After beating the Bills, the Cowboys improved their record to 7-2 and have a real chance of winning the NFC and clinching home field advantage in the near future.
Unfortunately, Dallas dropped 3 of their next 4 games. We make the playoffs, but get SMOKED by the Panthers 29-10
End the year 10-6.
Make Playoffs, 0 wins.
2004
Dallas Super Bowl: Week 3
Dallas again has no answer for Quarterback since they surprisingly released their starting QB Quincy Carter in the off-season. Rumor has it (on Wikipedia) that he failed some sort of drug test, but who knows.
Vinny Testaverde was the opening-day starter. Not a household name, I know, but he was the veteran presence. It’s not like you could start the Undrafted free agent you signed! Some guy named Romo from Eastern Illinois was not poised to start for the Cowboys…. Yet….
Week 3 was a solid win against the Redskins. Starting the year 2-1. We’re feisty! Who knows we can surprise some folks this year!
Nope. Went 1-6 in their next 7.
End the year 6-10
2005
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 11
We drafted future hall of fame Demarcus Ware and signed Drew Bledsoe, things were looking good in Dallas.
Week 11 comes around and after beating the Lions, the Dallas Cowboys are 7-3 and tied for the 2 seed in the NFC.
The next 6 weeks were awful though. Going 2-4 in that span, all hope was lost after week 15.
Needing to beat our division rivals, the Redskins SPANKED Dallas to the tune of 35-7.
Dallas would win in Week 16 but was eliminated from the playoffs before their game in Week 17.
End the year 9-7
2006
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 13
This was Romo-Mania. After a slow 3-3 start, Bledsoe gets benched by Bill Parcels, and Tony Romo gets the nod.
In his first 6 weeks as a starter, Romo went 5-1. Dallas, you have yourself a franchise QB.
After a Week 13 win against the Giants, the Cowboys were 8-4 looking to lock up the division in the next few weeks.
But of course, that is not what happens. Dallas drops 3 of their last 4 and enters the playoffs as a wild-card team.
This is where my heart gets shattered.
In a close playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks, the Cowboys line up to kick a field goal to take the lead with a little over 2 minutes left.
Since Romo was the backup to start the season, he was designated to hold the kick for field goals. After being announced as the starter, he was still sent out there with the field goal unit every week.
This time, he botches the snap. Romo tries to run the ball into the endzone but is stopped on the 2-yard line. Seattle is able to run down the clock, and force Dallas to heave 1 Hail Mary that falls short. The Cowboys lose, because of the slippery fingers of Tony Romo.
End the year 9-7.
Make Playoffs, 0 wins.
2007
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 16
This one fucking hurt.
We were sooooo good. Bill Parcells was gone, and we had Wade Phillips take over. Boy, did that man have the team HUMMING.
Romo was playing absolutely fantastically. Nobody was going to win MVP over Brady who lead the Pats to a 16-0 regular season, but man did Tony deserve some recognition.
In Week 16 the Cowboys clinched the 1 seed and decided to rest their starters in Week 17. Rest vs. Rust debate ensued. Should we be resting players two weeks in a row before a divisional playoff game?
Hindsight says no. We play the 5 seed Giants in the Divisional round and get beat. I was so fucking broken this was our year.
End the year 13-3.
Make Playoffs, 0 wins.
2008
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 13
2008 was the start of a week 17 trend that was one of the toughest things I have ever had to go through.
In week 13, Romo got revenge against the Seahawks and gave his team an 8-4 record. With a 2.5-game lead in the wild card and only 4 games left, the cowboys just needed 2 wins to secure a playoff birth for the third year in a row.
The Cowboys would go 1-2 in Weeks 14-16 and it would come down to a “Win and you’re in” game to finish the Season against the Eagles.
Dallas would get clowned 44-6. The “Does Romo have the clutch gene” conversation has started.
End the year 9-7
2009
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 5 and Week 17
This year had two VERY special weeks for the Cowboys. I clearly remember Miles Austin going NUTS in Week 5 against the chiefs. 250 yards receiving on 10 catches with 2 scores. Capped off by a 60 TD catch from Romo in OT to win (Mike Vrabel caught a TD in Q1, fun fact)
In Week 17 we got our revenge against the Philly Scum. Not only did the Cowboys shut them out 24-0 in a game where the winner wins the East, we easily take care of them in the Wildcard round 34-14 to get the first playoff win for Dallas in the 21st century.
The Divisional round was another beast. I don’t remember much from this game since I had a terrible fever. May have been the swine flu who knows, but the point is when I woke up in the 4th quarter to a 34-3 score I literally thought I was still dreaming.
Maybe I didn’t take this as hard as I should have since I wasn’t very alive for it, but Brett Favre throat fucked us that day. Still don’t believe it happened to be quite honest.
End the year 11-5.
Make Playoffs, 1 win (!)
2010
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 10
This year SUUUUUCKKED to be a Dallas fan. I remember getting my hopes up since the year before we won the NFC East.
Dallas was hosting the Super Bowl in 2010, so naturally, everyone in the media was clambering about how the Cowboys could host a Super Bowl. Never been done before.
Drafted Dez Bryant in the first round, and Sean Lee in the second. Two big names that Dallas fans were excited about. Ready to defend our title, but big fat doofus Wade Phillips couldn’t coach the team to save his life.
After starting 1-7, Phillips was fired before the plane took off from Green Bay to return to Dallas. Cowboys announced the Young Gun Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett as interim head coach.
I was so fucking pumped for this. I remember yelling to my Dad that THIS was the guy we needed. HE could get us to a Super Bowl!
Week 10 Cowboys win! The first game for Garrett is a W.
With 7 losses already, Dallas fans knew we had to probably win out to make the playoffs. Of course, this did not happen.
End the year 6-10
2011
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 11
Dallas did what they seem to always do. Started off slow, and got SUPER hot in November. After beating the Dolphins on Thanksgiving, Dallas was 7-4 with a real chance at securing a bye week for the postseason.
Of course, that is not what happens for the Cowboys. After losing 3 of their next 4, Tony Romo and the Cowboys are faced with a “win and you’re in” game against the Giants.
Again, the Cowboys lose.
Again, Romo not having the clutch gene is discussed. Maybe next year, Tony.
End the year 8-8
2012
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 12
Same old Cowboys. Start off slow, get scorching hot in November and into December.
Week 15 comes and the Cowboys beat the Steelers in overtime to go 5-1 in their last 6 games, and at 8-6 need just one more win in the next two weeks to clinch a playoff birth.
In week 16 we lose a tight game in OT against the Saints, so it all comes down to week 17… Again…
Traveling to Washington, the long-time rivals faced off in another “Win and you’re in” game where the winner is the NFC Champs, and the loser misses the playoffs.
Down 3 late in the 4th quarter, Romo throws a back-breaking interception. Redskins score the following drive and win 28-18.
Again, the Cowboys lose.
This was so fucking hard to deal with.
End the year 8-8
2013
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 5
Romo was INSANE this year. 3,800 yards, 31 TDs, 10 INTs.
The peak of this year came in a loss against the Peyton Manning led Broncos. Even with the loss, this game showed how amazing the Cowboys offense could be after putting up 48 points, behind Romo’s 506 yards and 5 TDs.
However, again this year it came down to a “win and you’re in” game in week 17… This time WITHOUT Romo.
Tony suffered the first of many injuries in Week 16 where he was diagnosed with a herniated disc in his lower back. Thus, sending Kyle Orton to lead the Boys in Week 17 against the Eagles.
The team couldn’t get it together. Losing the game after failing to convert a game-tying 2 point conversion late in the 4th.
If only Romo wasn’t hurt. If only.
End the year 8-8 (FUCKING AGAIN)
2014
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 17
This one is going to hurt. Fuck refs.
This Cowboys offense was easily the best Dallas offense I have seen since we last won a Super Bowl (27 years ago, but who’s counting).
Started 6-1; finished 12-4. Entering Week 17, we even had a shot at winning the 1 seed if Seattle and Green Bay managed to lose.
That didn’t happen, but 12-4 as a 3 seed entering the playoffs is pretty nice.
The Wildcard round against the Lions was scary. Trailing 10 at the half, we managed to come all the way back. We won off of a pretty iffy no-call on what could have been considered pass interference on Calvin Johnson late in the 4th.
Then, it happened…
Trailing by 5 late in the 4th, Romo hit up Dez with an ABSOLUTE DIME.
Dez secures the catch, steps, and turns his body to reach for the pilon of the endzone. The ref rules Dez down just short of the goal line, but Dallas thinks they have a touchdown to take the lead.
As Jason Garrett decides if he should challenge the play or not, Packers coach Mike McCarthy throws the red challenge flag. He thinks that it wasn’t a catch.
I’m sorry, what?
He caught it, turned his body, and even tried to reach for the goal line. How could this not be considered a catch?
This review took an eternity. I’m talking hours. Days maybe. Finally, the head ref turns on his stupid fucking mic to say those stupid fucking words of “the receiver did not maintain possession of the football”.
Fucking idiot fucks then change the rule and say they fucked up and that it is a catch
Fuck you. I still believe this year was our year. We deserve that Super Bowl against Brady. We would run the ball on the 1-yard line.
End the year 12-4.
Make Playoffs, 1 win.
2015
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 11
This was the first year of Romo’s collarbone being made of glass. After fracturing it in week 2, the Cowboys were led by Brandon Weeden for two straight losses, followed by 5 more losses led by Matt Cassel.
Those 8 weeks were fucking TOUGH. This was the first time I refused to watch the Cowboys play. I had no hope and zero will for this team.
Then, in Week 11, Tony Romo returned. He leads the Cowboys to a 24-14 win against the Dolphins. Even with 7 losses, we fans were still playing that “Hey, who knows!” game we always do.
This was crushed by Romo fracturing his clavicle the next week. All hopes were lost on the season.
End the year 4-12
2016
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 16
This one wasn’t as bad as 2014, but dammit did it hurt.
Romo went down again in the pre-season with a back injury. This was going to be last year all over again. This time, we have some kid named Dak Prescott coming in to start as Quarterback.
Holy hell, did this guy light it up or WHAT? Dak starts his career going 13-2, and clinching the 1 Seed in the NFC after putting up 42 against the Lions in Week 16.
Again here comes the Rest vs. Rust. In 2007 we went with rest and lost in the Divisional round, our first playoff game. In 2016, we go with rest again.
Green Bay comes to town. The last time we played them in the Post-Season was “The Dez Catch” game and I remember being so nervous. Aaron Rodgers is the boogie man.
It was honestly a good game. with 35 seconds left, Dan Bailey nailed a 52-yard field goal to set up what looked like to be OT, but somehow Rodgers just fucks us.
The guy makes three crazy passes and takes seemingly no time off the clock to get his team in position to kick a game-winning field goal. Which, of course, they do.
Skip Bayless starts saying there are air machines in the stadium brought from Green Bay to blow the kick through the uprights and my Dallas Depression is back.
End the year 13-3.
Make Playoffs, 0 wins.
2017
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 9
2017 had all of the hype going in, and after Week 9 we are sitting at 5-3, poised to make another run at the playoffs.
But then our best offensive weapon, Zeke, is suspended. Due to some shady shit that Urban Meyer tried to cover up at Ohio State, Zeke was being investigated by the NFL. Turns out when he went to school there, he was accused of domestic violence by his ex-girlfriend. Of course, nobody knew this when he was winning national championships for the Buckeyes, but once he comes to the NFL these accusations then see the light of day.
I disavow any and all domestic violence. I can admit I think Zeke is good at football, but probably shouldn’t be allowed to play it if he is out here hitting women.
Just pointing out that it’s strange that somehow Ohio State forgot about this charge and accusation until AFTER Zeke carried his team to a natty.
Anyway, once he was suspended, the offense looked like shit. We lost 3 in a row, scoring 7, 9, and 6.
With how stacked the NFC was, you were going to need at least 10 wins to make the playoffs. Dallas only won 9 that year.
End the year 9-7
2018
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 14
2018 seemed to follow the old Dallas way. Start the year off slow, and heat up in November and into December.
Dallas was 3-4 after week 7, but decided to make a move to help this offense out. Dallas traded next year’s 1st round pick for Wide Reciever Amari Cooper, and holy hell did this trade make a difference.
The team looked SO complete after adding Coop. After starting 3-4, Dallas went on a streak.
Winning 4 out of their next 5, the Cowboys were 7-5 facing off against their in-division rivals, Philly.
After a grueling game that lead to overtime, the Cowboys were able to secure a win after Dak threw a 15-yard TD pass with only 1:55 left.
Who caught that pass? Amari Cooper, of course.
This win jolted Dallas to first in the East. Needing 2 wins out of their next 3 to guarantee the Division title, the Cowboys ACTUALLY won and was the 4 seed going into the playoffs 10-6.
Wild Card round we looked actually great! Seattle could not run the ball against the stout rush defense of Dallas. The box score of 24-22 makes it seem like a close game, but Dallas was up 10 with only 1:30 remaining in the game. Was not much of a sweat.
With confidence, we set off to LA to face the Rams with their hot-shot head coach and QB combo of Sean McVay and Jared Goff.
Holy fuck did we get rocked.
Round 1 we stopped the run. Round 2 we couldn’t stop it at all. The Rams rushed for over 200 yards.
Again, the box score isn’t truthful. 30-22 makes it seem like we had a shot, but Dallas was down 15 with only a little over 2 minutes left.
Swiss Cheese Defense.
End the year 10-6.
Make Playoffs, 1 win.
2019
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 9
Holy fuck was I tired of Jason Garrett by 2019. The dude just claps. And claps. And claps. That’s it. Clap Clap Clap
The high of the season was for sure Weeks 7-9. Beat the Eagles in Week 7, went on bye, and beat the Giants in Week 9.
Dallas was on top of the division at 5-3, and even after losing 4 of their next 5, at 6-7, we still controlled our own destiny. The Cowboys just had to beat the Rams, the Eagles, then the Redskins.
We took care of the Rams SOUNDINGLY, but then came the Eagles.
I could call a better game than Dallas did here. Run, Run, Pass. That was their offense. Of course, Philly caught on, you’d have to be asleep to not know what was coming next.
It’s not worth shit, but we beat the Redskins in Week 17. But, since we lost to those scum in Philly, we are out of the playoffs.
End the year 8-8.
2020
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 2
2020 had all the hype going into it. We fired Jason Garrett and hired another idiot in Mike McCarthy.
Week 2 had one of the craziest comebacks in Dallas history with this wild spinning onside kick going the Cowboys’ way.
Unfortunately, this is where the injuries become an excuse as Dak absolutely shattered his ankle in week 5, causing Dallas fans to accept that this year just wasn’t going to be the year.
End the year 6-10
2021
Regular Season Super Bowl: Week 16
This one hurt pretty bad too. This team was winning games every which way. Week 16 was just another shellacking of another team of grown men, this time 56 points were scored against the Washington Football Team.
Dallas was in the driver’s seat sitting at 11-4. Win the next two games and you are the 1 seed with the ONLY bye in the playoffs.
Unfortunately, week 17 had other plans. A really shitty call on a “fumble” ended the game, and our x-factor on offense in Michael Gallup tore his ACL.
Week 18 was another day at the office where Dak threw 5 TDs against the Eagles, and destroyed them as well putting up 51.
Here come the playoffs. At least Dallas gets to host this year, but it’s against the 49ers who were just a great team and hard to play against.
Listen, the Cowboys did not deserve to win this game. Going into the 4th down 23-7 you just don’t deserve it, but damn did they try.
After receiving the most penalties in NFL Post Season history, Dallas still had a shot at the end.
Down by 6 with no timeouts, Dallas had 2:42 left on the clock starting on their own 20. After a clever hook and ladder, a running back screen, and a Tight End out, Dallas has the ball to the 40 with 18 seconds remaining.
Then we call a QB draw? What the fuck? You don’t have any timeouts… DID YOU FORGET?
The play call was dumb… but then another controversial “rule” is in place.
One ref comes BARELLING in while Dallas is about to clock the ball with 2 seconds left on the 25, knocks over himself, moves the ball a half inch, and then says “oops sorry, games over.”
WHAT??
NEVER has this been needed in a game. Literally the next day Los Angelos is in the same scenario against Brady and they DONT need it spotted. SO WHY THE FUCK DO THE COWBOYS???
Also, the person in the Dallas game that spotted it, ISN’T THE REF RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT JOB!
It is the back judge that needs to do this, but the ref in the defensive secondary feels like this play he wants to(???)
Total whack.
End the year 12-5.
Make Playoffs, 0 wins.
Now that I am finished, I realized this took me way longer than I thought. Literally, 4 hours of research, getting angry, sad, and more anger. I hope everyone and anyone enjoys this. Hopefully one day in my life I will see the Dallas Cowboys make an appearance in the NFC Championship in the 21st century.
Do I think this is the year? Absolutely. Best defense I’ve seen for this team. Ever. They will get it back together and go on that miracle run. We may face Philly without Hurts this week, but we will be sure to eliminate his team come January.
Barstool, give me a job. I already work for pennies, I’m cool with that.
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